A young person starts sleeping at different times. They stop seeing some of their usual friends, miss work more often or seem unusually withdrawn. When several things change together, it’s understandable for a parent or carer to wonder what is happening.

Alcohol or drug use is one possible explanation, but these changes can have many causes. Stress, mental health concerns, illness, relationships and ordinary changes during adolescence can all affect how a young person behaves.

The useful starting point is to look at the pattern rather than trying to reach a conclusion straight away. Notice what has changed, how long it has been happening and how the young person seems to be coping. A young person doesn’t need to reach a crisis point before their wellbeing is taken seriously.

When Several Changes Start to form a Pattern

Possible signs of substance use can appear in different parts of a young person’s life. A single sign tells you very little on its own, so pay attention to changes that persist or begin appearing together.

You may notice changes in:

• Mood and behaviour: unusual irritability, agitation, withdrawal or changes in how they respond to people around them.
• Daily routines: different sleeping or eating patterns, lower energy, missed school or work, or less involvement in usual commitments.
• Relationships and social life: pulling away from family, changes in friendships or less interest in activities they normally enjoy.
• Physical wellbeing: changes in appetite, energy or general health that seem unusual for them.

The context matters. Missing classes during a stressful exam period may mean something very different from a broader pattern of missed school, withdrawal from friends and changes at home. Look at the whole picture before deciding what the changes might mean.

Understanding the Changes Before You React

It can be tempting to focus on the behaviour that first caught your attention. That can make it easy to miss what else may be happening. The Martin Youth Foundation recognises that alcohol and drug dependence can overlap with mental health concerns, trauma, housing instability, disrupted education or employment and family difficulties.

These circumstances do not automatically explain substance use, but they may shape what a young person is experiencing and what kind of care they need. This is why observation should lead to curiosity rather than accusation. You may not know whether alcohol or drugs are involved when you first raise the issue. The young person may also be dealing with something you haven’t seen yet.

Start the Conversation With Something Specific

Choose a private time when neither of you is rushed. Begin with what you have actually noticed. Instead of opening with an accusation such as, “Are you taking drugs?”, you could say:

“I’ve noticed you’ve missed work a few times and you seem more tired than usual. How have things been going?”

That gives the young person something concrete to respond to without telling them what you think the answer is. Listen before moving to the next question. Open questions can give them more room to explain what has been happening in their own words. If alcohol or drugs remain a concern, you can ask about them directly. Keep the conversation calm and give the young person time to answer. They may not want to talk straight away. Letting them know you are available to listen again can keep the conversation open.

Deciding What Happens Next

The next step depends on what you have noticed, what the young person tells you and how their wellbeing is being affected. If you have noticed some changes but there is no immediate danger, keep the conversation open. Pay attention to whether those changes continue and whether the young person becomes more willing to talk about what is happening.

If the changes persist or begin to affect health, school, work, relationships, or daily life, professional advice may help. A GP or qualified health professional can assess the situation and help identify appropriate next steps. The young person may be referred to a youth health service, alcohol and drug counselling, mental health care or more specialised treatment depending on their needs.

When you speak with a health professional, explain what you have noticed and how long it has been happening. Mention other concerns that may be relevant, including mental health, housing, education or family difficulties.

If the young person becomes seriously unwell, treat it as an emergency. Call triple zero (000) if you think they may have overdosed, become unresponsive or unconscious, have difficulty breathing, experience a seizure or develop severe chest pain. If you’re seriously concerned and unsure what is happening, call 000 and describe the situation. Follow the emergency operator’s instructions while help is on the way.

What Youth-specific Care Can Look Like

Young people have developmental and emotional needs that adult-oriented treatment settings may not always address. The type of care they need can also change throughout recovery. For some young people, treatment may involve withdrawal care followed by residential rehabilitation. Ongoing aftercare can then help them continue working towards their goals as they return to daily life.

The Martin Youth Foundation believes every young person has the capacity to make sustained, positive change when given the right support. We are a philanthropic funder, not a treatment provider. It funds evidence-based programs for youth alcohol and drug dependence that are delivered by service partners. Mission Australia’s Triple Care Farm is one example. It is a youth-specific residential rehabilitation centre for young people aged 16 to 24, and we are its major philanthropic funder.

The Foundation also funds Youth Network, a six-month structured aftercare program delivered by Mission Australia for young people aged 12 to 25 returning to community life after residential treatment. These programs reflect our focus on youth-specific care that remains connected across different stages of recovery.

Where to Find Alcohol and Drug Help in Australia

You don’t need to work out the right service on your own. A GP or local youth health service can help you understand what kind of care may be appropriate.

National services include:

• National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline: 1800 250 015. This free and confidential service is for people concerned about their own or someone else’s alcohol or drug use. Callers are directed to the appropriate service in their state or territory.
• Counselling Online. This Australia-wide service provides free and confidential alcohol and drug counselling online 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Family members and friends can also use the service.
• headspace. Young people aged 12 to 25 can access information and services relating to mental health, physical health, work and study, and alcohol and drugs.

If you are worried about a young person, start with what you have noticed and give them room to explain what is happening. From there, you can decide together whether another conversation, professional advice or more specialised care is the right next step.